Well, it's been a day. Bumpa was playing with Julia and Rauan and something he did causes Alihan to have a meltdown. Daddy and the grandmas were right there and they have no idea what it was. Honest to God, after seeing a couple of old bruises--no they are Mongolian spots, these are definitely bruises--and some of Alihan's reactions, I'm pretty sure that he was abused/physically punished in some way. I think haircuts were nasty too. His hair is all ragged, so we just wanted to trim around the ears. My God--you would have thought he was being tortured! It was awful. If he was abused, I want to take that person(s) and hang them by certain body parts! I've seen enough child abuse recently that it just makes me want to puke. And to think that might have been happening to my baby!
Ok, on to better things. Alihan is showing some very positive signs. After the above incident, I came upstairs and Alihan came into my arms and I snuggled him like a baby. Lightbulb!!! Let's go back to the baby stages. I got a sippy cup and filled it with water. I held him like I was bottle feeding or nursing him and gave him water. I even burped him a little. He relaxed and just watched me and snuggled in. I even fed him like that. I think just doing the stages is really going to help. He calmed down and was very responsive to playing with Julia and Rauan. He was even willing to give Bumpa a high five when he left. We are having the typical testing going on too. There was a power struggle amongst the 3 kids over a toy. So they all lost it. After that Alihan was much better at sharing. Honest truth--Ted and I just don't put up with that crap. Manners, sharing and just plain decent behavior are how it goes here.
He still isn't liking the dog and cats--but he was able to be in the room with the cat without freaking. Progress!
Here's just a few pictures of the kids together. Hopefully more tomorrow.
6 comments:
I think I'm going to be sick...I'd be right behind you. My heart is just desperate to get "my girls" out of that situation NOW! Glad he is doing pretty well for his first day :)
Yeah but just think about poor Yuri!
Sounds like things are going awesome, JP! Kostya had a few monster tantrums when we first got him too but no meltdowns over haircuts, etc. I think you're probably right about the mistreatment.
Alihan looks great, he has such a sweet and happy personality! I am so glad he and his brother and sister are doing well together! Welcome home Alihan!
How very sad -- breaks my heart. WHY??? do people do those things???? He looks happy in the photos, though. I hope things progress nicely through the next few months and he can come to realize that he is safe, loved and most of all -- home!
It took Jyly about 2 weeks to realize that she wasn't going to get beat if she wet her pants. I completely stopped potty training and let her be a diaper baby for awhile. We still need to have the lumps on her bottom biopsied but I am positive it is scar tissue. It is sad that these children love them so much and this is what they get in return. It starts as soon as they get to Tokmok. Look at Emily's 5 month old baby with fractured ribs and a fractured skull. Can you imagine what we would find if we had our babies x-rayed?
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