Sunday, August 31, 2008

How do you know...

when it's time to throw in the towel and put the house up for sale? I've just had it today. There is no way Ted could get the utility sink fixed--after further investigation it's definitely a job for the plumber. The bathroom--well, yes I'll spend the next couple of days showering at the Princeton Club. The internet--well I'm hoping that it last long enough to post this blog entry. When we moved in here in 1999, we figured 5 years tops. This was of course until infertility and adoption--thus using the house for equity. After all, adoption is a home improvement! So, almost 10 years later and plus 3 kids--while we've added on (thank goodness--500 square feet), we're still at one bathroom and everytime I turn around it's something new. I thought to stay here until Julia is ready for high school, evaluate the high schools and move accordingly. St. Dennis goes through 8th grade. We can drive the boys if necessary. And yes, 2nd bathroom next year--it's well worth the money! But, should we do that? Are we just pissing money down the drain? After spending over 2 hours just washing clothes at the laundry mat (and drying them at home--dryer and clothes line)--is the time and money really worth it?
And for those of you that are wondering---my back and gut are killing me! I thought maybe I could have gone back to work--but yes, they were right in making me wait! Ok, yes H--- did just freeze over--I admitted someone else was right. Just mark it in your calendar--it doesn't happen often. Now where is my ibuprofen???

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Home repairs

Ok--this sucks! Poor Ted--spent most of the day struggling with our crappy plumbing, then struggled to get the darn shower walls up--I'm helping where I can but I am rather limited. Probably not as much as the doctor thinks I should be--but what he doesn't know.......geez, did I say that??? Then the pipe under the laundry room sink is broke--and it's not the one I thought it was--I'm not sure if we're going to have to replace the whole thing or not. THEN....there is a flood of water coming up from under the ac/furnace unit in the basement. OK---enough already!!!I think the a/c is just plugged, but for good God's sake. We're going to end up having to replace most of the facuets and controls in the bathroom. I have a new assortment of repair tools and looking at the bathroom--I'm going to have to do some repairs to the bathroom wall. Not the first time--thank goodness I've done that kind of work before. And it won't stress the belly too much. Yes--the beer and winecoolers came out tonight. I'm not sure if they are strong enough. Tomorrow--Princeton Club for showers. I can't do much of a work out but I'm going to get a decent shower at least!

Zoo trip




We have been having nothing but trouble with the Internet. Since it's working right now, I'm taking advantage to get our pictures up from the zoo yesterday. Aimee is also an adoptive parent. Her boys are from Ethiopia and they are currently waiting for a referral of a baby girl. We meet through the soccer team. I've meet some awesome people through the soccer team. Anyways, we went to the zoo and then to Ella's Deli. The kids were thrilled--2 different carousel rides and the little zoo train. It was the absolutely perfect day.

Today--well, the boys decided to finish off the shower surround by climbing up the ledge--completely shattering it. So, we're replacing it. For two people who essentially had no household repair skills when we bought this house--we're getting pretty darn good at fixing stuff. Not perfect--but half-decent looking and usable. Why do I have a feeling that we are going to become experts as the boys get older??? *SIGH*

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Silly Julia

videoOk, so I was going through the pictures and found this. Ted and I just laughed the whole darn time. This is what it's like in my house. Ted's question to me? "And where was mommy? It was daylight out so it couldn't have been me watching them!" Humm--I do go to the bathroom once in a while!

Meet the teachers


Today was the meet the teachers day at St. Dennis for Julia. First grade already! I'm getting old. Oh well has to happen.
So basically it's just the day to see the classroom and drop off school supplies. I also went to sign up Julia and Rauan for extended care twice a week. Ted is losing his flex schedule (darn it!) so we're in the daycare rotation again! Mr. Dave's is wonderful though. I wasn't going to sign Julia up last year but the girl literally BEGGED me for one day a week. Now having her brother there--well they will be so happy. We also signed up for the hot lunch program. St. Dennis has a great hot lunch--made right there at the school and there's food service manager--but it's usually parents. I also checked out the computer lab and the science lab. Yet again--do I have to say it?? St. Dennis is great. The parents really want the best for their children and it shows in the quality of teachers and supplies. Rauan meet Sr. Marie. She is an older nun who works one on one with the younger children for reading skills. Well, Rauan is already well known and she is ready to challenge him! Chewie just bounced through the whole school. I swear he is the happiest kid around!
Julia got this cute little outfit from her Mamaw (Ted's mom). The boys got some fall outfits too--but this was perfect for today. She wants to grow her bangs out too. I like her with bangs--but it's her hair. I'll be pulling it back for a while! She also got new figure skates today. She literally jumped from a size 12 to a size 1! Overnight! Besides a brick to stop her from growing so tall--maybe I need something for her feet!
Tomorrow we're meeting Aimee and her family at the zoo. Last Friday before school starts and it looks like it will be an absolutely beautiful day. Crowded perhaps???
Oh yes, 2 weeks postop and I feel GREAT!!! Little twinges of discomfort--but Ted says I'm not so bitchy and I'm sarcastic again. I guess that's a good thing!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Just because





Well, I haven't put up any pictures lately--so here's a few. Some of the kids riding their bikes, one of the boys snuggling (and yes, Rauan is wearing a dress--someday he will get revenge on Julia!) and then one from yesterday when we ventured out to the dog park--the HUGE one and got the dogs some exercise. And I did manage a couple of times up the hill--so I've added an incline into my routine.
Chewie--you know that boy who was terrified of dogs a few months ago--well, Belle (aka "Chewie's puppy") decided to play with some other dogs (a golden retriever puppy--so cute and her big sister)- so he went right over to them and told Belle to come with him. No shyness there! It's amazing the difference a few months can make.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

What a couple of days!

Busy busy! One of these days I'll actually sit still.
Julia went to Levi's birthday party on Thursday. Those two. Grandma Mary Lou sent me some pictures from the party. I can easily see in a few years, Michelle and I will be drinking a few margaritias (or the vodka and lemonade Mala mentioned--but I want the GOOD vodka!), while our girls are out doing good Lord knows what! They may not be sisters--but I think in some ways they are closer--totally best friends. Distance doesn't make a difference at all.
So, while Julia was there--after the boys being home for a few hours, I had to replenish the kitchen. So, off I ventured to Woodman's. For those of you not familiar with Woodman's--take a Sam's Club and add to it, except you don't have to be members. Part of the reason I live in this area is because Woodman's is close. So, Rauan pushed the cart for a bit and then told me it was too much. The boys were hiliarous. As we went down the ceral aisle--Rauan talking--this one older lady came up and patted his head and said, I just love his voice. Rauan just preened with the attention. I still think debate or drama for that boy. Alihan just was bouncing the whole time, jabbering away in his special mix of English/Russian.
Almost $200 later, I'm home and ready to pass out. I forgot how hard grocery shopping can be! I mean, I didn't really hurt, but I was TIRED. However, the problem is--as tired as I get, sleeping is an issue. I just can't sleep. I wonder if all the hormones I took before surgery are having some consequences now. When I've slept, I've woken up just drenched. And there are some definite mood swings going on (Ted-shut up! no comments from the peanut gallery!) Probably a good thing I'm not at work right now--those poor kids don't have to deal with me.
Yesterday, my sister came by with my adorable niece and nephew. Amelia is having issues with GI reflux and they upped her medication. She's eating well, so that's not an issue. So, Henry played with Julia, Rauan and Chewie--and Belle decided Henry was her perfect size so let's knock him down. Darn puppy! But Henry has border collies at home so he is used to the bouncing dog. Amelia slept in my arms for a while. So sweet! But, while I do like babies--I have to admit, I like it when the children are a bit older and interact. Julia came home at 13 months and that was as young as I would like. Within a few months she was walking and playing and cracking up. Anyways, I digress. Ted came home and we took the kids to St. Dennis so they could practice bike riding and run around. I went walking around the grounds just to get exercise. Julia is really getting good at bike riding. Alihan--he is just a goof. Afterwards, we went to get a pizza and I took the kids to DQ next door. And who do we run into but Shauna, and her family? Shauna is Anna's mom--one of Rauan's many girlfriends. I met Shauna before I met Anna--at the preschool parents meeting. I went home that night and I told Ted I met the mom of Rauan's future girlfriend and boy I was right. Anna's petite, long blond curls and just sweet like her mom. So, next year, Anna's brother William will be in preschool with Alihan. Ted went into recruiting mode for hockey. Yeah--nothing new. I have a feeling that will happen. Shauna might be living at the ice arena along with me!
Oh well, off to enjoy the day. Looks like it finally stopped raining and I'm going to go for a walk. Just occasionally twinges right now (as long as I don't lift) and the light headedness is less and less. I can't keep calling myself a dizzy blonde anymore.
Go--play outside and enjoy this late summer weather. I might see you out there!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The kids are home!!!!

One week post op and my kids are home. I can't believe how quiet this house has been without them.
I slept like crap last night. Honestly. I just couldn't fall asleep. Of course, when Ted got up to go to work this am I was in a total coma. Weird. Anyways, saw the doctor at 2:30 today and he again told me how the nurses were amazed by me. I don't get it. I just do what I have to do--no point in sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Ted just laughs--he's used to being around stubborn wife! He made the comment about how his eye is for sympathy pain for me--WHATEVER!! So, according to the doctor I'm doing great and he can't believe how well considering how bad my insides were. My uterus was 6 times normal size and full of fibroids. Now if I can just lose that extra weight......with time, with time.
Ted and I then went to pick up the children. We walked into Bill and Janet's house and it was literally--"Thank God, we're saved!" HAHA--yep they are active children. Not bad--just very very active. Julia latched onto me and wouldn't let go. The boys, of course, climbed all over me. Rauan looked so tired. I have a feeling he is going to sleep late tomorrow (yeah). Julia has a birthday party tomorrow for her best friend Levi. Grandma Mary Lou ( Michelle's mom and Levi's grandma) is picking Julia up in the am for Chuck E. Cheese's. Can you say afternoon nap tomorrow?
Bad news, looks like I'll have to come up with one month's premium for our health insurance. We have really good health insurance--so it's quite a bit of money. It could certainly be worse--I know there are people alot worse off. For once in our lives, we actually have some money in the bank. It will be tight, but, so goes life. I could push to go back to work, but the medical concern is lifting restrictions. For me, it's more the dizziness--but I think within a week that's going to be much better. The second bit of bad news is Alihan's surgery is going to be delayed. I, of course, have no time left. Ted is pretty much without time either until after the first of the year. So, it's looking like after January 1 for his surgery, depending on the schedule of the doctor's. If it was urgent, well, I'd stay with Chewie until my shift started--work and then go back to him after work. Grandparents are here, Aunt Mimi works weekends--so between everyone we'd figure something out. But, since there has been all this chaos--I think it's just better to wait. I think poor Chewie is so darn confused right now--Lord knows I am.
Anyways, back to work Sept. 15! Do you think I'll make it before I go completely bonkers--or am I already there?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Day 5 of the saga

I have to tell you that sitting around is just simply not for me! I literally did nothing today until after Ted came home and then we went to Target for school supplies for the kids. Much easier--and I really had to get out and walk some. Thank goodness my sister stocked me up on books! Loki laid next to me in bed and I read most of the day away--except when I got phone calls from people making sure I was resting! Hummm--think people don't trust me??? I honestly have to say I'm so glad for the computer. I've sent paperwork to work, paperwork to Ted (yes I do that to him), and set up more appts. with our lawyer. We've been trying to get stuff done for the kids and with all that has happened in the last year--well I have to say our lawyer has the patience of a saint! Speaking of saints--my MIL told me a story about the kids today that made me tear up. It didn't help that I had just finished reading about Steven Curtis Chapman and his daughter (the newest People magazine). Anyways, the kids went to Red Robin for lunch today and got balloons afterwards. At Aunt Mimi's house, the balloons got away. When the kids asked, Bumpa told them they were floating away. Rauan said they were floating to Papa and Julia said they were floating to Papa and Callie. And--if I remember this right--they said they missed Papa. Me too. Geez--I have sensitive kids--who would have thought? Well, Julia is probably the most empathetic child ever--but Rauan surprises me once in a while. Chewie--well it remains to be seen. But he is a snuggler!
Maria--I got bored and that's why the blog looks different. I'm like that with my hair too--get bored, change it up. Julia has picked that up from me--except she moves furniture around. My living room is always different--she's tried with the family room in the basement--but I think carpeting slows her down! If I don't get back to work soon--who knows what will be changed??
Oh yes, for those that are wondering--Ted isn't getting much sympathy at work. He is now sporting a lovely black eye!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

It was hard today

Today Bumpa brought the kids up so the boy's could get fitted for their hockey gear. Yes, it's that time already! Julia stayed with me. The hockey fitting was at Elver Park here in Madison and Ted stayed to help with the fittings. It got hot today, so Bumpa came back with the boys to pick up Julia to take them back to Janesville. Then came the tears. Julia wanted to go back but didn't want to leave me. I was trying not to cry too because I miss the kids so much and I would have loved to have Julia stay--but how boring here! I can't really do much. Bill (aka Bumpa) thought she just might feel like she is supposed to take care of me--she's 6!!!, certainly not supposed to take of me! I had to really bit my lip and tell Julia that it was ok if she went back to her grandparents and went swimming and played with Aunt Mimi, etc. If she wanted to stay here--that was ok, but mommy couldn't do much. God I think the hardest thing I've done was watch her get into the car to go back to Janesville.
The boys were thrilled to get their hockey equipment. Ted said he hasn't ever seen Chewie that excited . Of course it took many different pairs of hockey gloves to find ones that fit on his big old paws!!! The boys's hair is really blonde now. I could hardly believe it. I think the sunlight reflecting off the pool does it. And--those kids have grown in 4 days--honestly!!! Ok kids--do it now before I buy your school clothes!
One week post op visit on Wednesday--and the kids are coming home. I'll deal with the pain but I can't deal with them being away for that long.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

And less then 24 hours later.....

I'm driving dumbass husband to the urgent care. Thank God I heal fast--or I'm just stubborn. As I was getting ready to take a shower, Ted decides to go roller blading. As Ted is roller blading he decided that he needed a better view of the bike path. He now is the proud owner of six stitches above his right eye, bruised ribs and multiple lacterations. Yeah, I didn't get my shower. This is why I can't take narcotics and I have to heal fast! So much for me sitting on my butt and relaxing. Thank God the kids weren't here and I had to deal with them too--although I really really miss them. It is awful quiet here now. And hopefully it will stay that way for a while. And the roller blades are going into the trash!

Friday, August 15, 2008

I'm back!

Yes, less then 48 hours and I'm home. The doctor was about ready to fall over when he came into the room today at 9 and I was in regular clothes, showered and waiting. Couldn't believe that the last time I took any medication was 8 pm last night and that was just Aleve. Personally I prefer ibuprofen---which is what I told him. Again, almost fell over when I said I don't need narcotics. What the heck for? I won't use them. It's mostly gas pain. Yes, there is incisional pain, but narcotics won't help that!
Yet again, apparently I'm one for the medical books. A big old mess inside and with 4 hours I had the catheter out and walking. I also peed within 4 hours of the catheter being out. That thing is miserable! I do have more sympathy for my patients in regards to that. I was told yesterday that eventually the ovaries might have to come out--but with what I've lived with so far--maybe not! I am certainly hoping I make it to menopause with my ovaries. Lord, I'm cranky enough. I was lucky enough to be such a big mess inside that I had TWO surgeons working on me, not just one. I also informed that it was the worst case he had ever seen in his 20 years of medical practice and he does ALOT of hyterectomies. great--just the distinction I want.
Anyways, I'm home. I took a nap. Have a big bloated tummy. Walking sort of upright. I hope this passes soon. My MIL, FIL, mother, husband , manager, sisters, and friend Kelly have all informed me to rest and slow down(!!!!). I'll try but I don't know if there is a downshift on this thing. My mom also isn't sure I'll be able to handle the kids by myself next week. Humm, we'll see. I still can't drive. I lost alot of blood during surgery, hemoglobin is down to 9, so I might have to rest--yeah maybe for a day!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Not such a great surgery

Ted here: looks like I will be taking over the blog for a little while. Judging by the traffic today there are quite a few people looking for updates. Let me start by saying the surgeon to one look inside Janiece this morning and sent the nurse to find me and let me know they needed to open her up. Oh no this can't be good....
Well after 2 hours of surgery the doctor came in and told me and I quote: " I took one look and it looked like someone blew something up in there!" Thanks Doc, nice visual! He said that there were so many adhesion's and fibroids, that everything was sticking to her ovaries, bowels, etc.... He also needed to drain some ovarian cysts too. He also mentioned that he was surprised that she had made it this long.... Well I would like to say Janiece is resting quietly in her bed, but we all know better. She was bound and determined to walk around tonight and get the catheter remover, both of which she succeeded. She started to worry about everything and told me to call her boss tonight, because she was worried about the work schedule if she is out longer. I guess that I must of grown a pair again, because I told her that IT CAN WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW! Yes my head and all body parts are still attached. I think the DR. has pre-warned her nurses that she is determined to get out of there, because they are letting her do stuff(i.e eat solids) as she feels ready, instead of going by the guidelines. So she is going to be at Fort Atkinson Hosp. until Friday and then we will figure it out from there.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Time Change

Surgery has been moved up. It will now be at 9:30 tomorrow am, which means I need to be there by 8:10 am. Ted told me I'm going to have to push his butt out of bed. Yeah--what about me????? Alarm clock!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Brief respite from the boredom

I have been tagged by my lovely friend Lisa to answer this question:

Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you haven’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.

This would take me to 1993 at the grand old age of 23 and thinking I knew more than anyone! That changed. I had just graduated from college with a major in psychology and marketing, worked in a grocery store (yuck) and was having a crisis because I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. This was when I started school again because I loved the hospital environment and my dad (bless his heart) told me that nursing would offer me the most flex ability.

1. I never thought I would marry. Finally, because a nurse I worked with and loved, talked me into meeting her brother. The rest is history. I had finally met my best friend and I married him in 1998 and he still is my best friend.
2. I thought once I had a house I would get pregnant and live happily ever after. Never did I think I would nearly die trying to get pregnant. Never did I think I would journey down the path of infertility.
3. I have travelled in lands few Americans have seen and my husband and I have 3 absolutely beautiful children. I sure never thought I would practially have triplets--and while is crazy, it's wonderful!
4. While in school for my nursing degree, I was terrified of working with children. I wanted to deal with adults who could express their needs. Little did I ever think that I would find my heart's desire working with little children--very sick little children. And I do think I'm fairly good at what I do.
5. Which leads me into my subculture of peds work--craniofacial. I barely knew what a cleft was and then we adopted Julia, which changed every direction of our lives. Ted with the sports (and I certainly never thought I would have the ice arena as my second home) and me with the craniofacial population. I love working with the families of craniofacial children. All it brings me is joy. And I soak up anything about craniofacial (and amniotic banding) like a sponge. I never thought that the love of craniofacial would lead me to the other 2 male loves of my life--Rauan and Alihan.
6. I love Madison!! I love working at the University hospital. 15 years ago---I thought I was a small town girl and staying that way. No way. Madison is awesome. I've travelled all over the world now and Madison is my hometown.
7. Norwegian elkhounds--who would have thought? Ted and I really wanted a dog when we got married since we both grew up with dogs. He found out about Norwegian elkhounds and the rest is history. I'm addicted to flying hair and frequent brushings. Plus, I have a male dog that thinks the sun rises and sets on me--he's pretty darn smart.
8. I have a minivan and love it. Enough said.
9. I honestly have to say that there is a place in Wisconsin that I consider to be the best vacation spot--Door County. Back when I younger--I thought Door County was for the middle aged folks who just want to sit around. How little did I know. Door County has some of the most beautiful places to hike and check out. I love the beaches and boy oh boy--they make some mighty good wine up there.
10. I'm glad that I grew up. I wouldn't want to be 23 again. My life has just improved and I look forward to the future. At 23, I lived for the moment. Now, I live for the present and for the future for my kids.

So, that sums it up. I am seriously sappy at some spots--but honestly who would have ever thought I would say infertility is the best thing that ever happened to me? It shook me out of my safety net, kicked my ass and woke me up to there is more to this life then just myself and my little corner of the world.
Ok I tag Hilary, Mala, Elizabeth, Stephanie and Gen. Let's hear it ladies!!

I'm bored!

Surgery isn't for another 2 days and already I'm looking for things to do. Of course I'm avoiding cleaning the bathroom--but that would take maybe 15 minutes. What else can I do???
Had the preop with the doctor today and Ted went with me. He asked Ted if he had any questions--Ted's answer "nope". I think that shocked the doctor. I guess most men have lots of questions--but I'm sure most men haven't sat next to their wife while she is in severe pain like I was when I had the pelvic infection. I honestly think that after living with that--when I decided adoption was the way to go--he was all for it. Now that in vitro wouldn't have even worked--I'm sure glad that we didn't let anything hold us back.
I've got the disability claim in--God willing I won't even need it because I want to be back to work soon. I mean--I'm bored and weak. That's the worse kind of mommy for these kids! That mean trouble finds them. School starts in 3 weeks--YEAH!!! Ok--there are issues with being anal retentive. I have everything set up for surgery and whatever happens. The only issue is getting the kid's clothes washed and I can't make the dryer or washing machine go any faster.
Oh I have a good one. So, the cottonwood tree is down. The guys wanted their money. no problem--write the check and I go inside and transfer the money over. So, in the maybe--MAYBE--ten minutes it took for me to transfer the money, the dude had gone to the bank and they wouldn't let him cash the check due to insufficient funds. What the heck??? Who leaves that much money sitting in their checking account??? I didn't know when they were going to want to get paid--I don't think the other 2 homeowners have even received their bills yet. I mean come on now--alot of people work days. So, the guy calls me all panic stricken thinking I had stiffed him on the bill. I explained to him I had transferred the money over. That didn't satisfy him--he wanted me to call the bank and make sure the money was there. Ok--I've been on hormones for over 4 weeks now--do you think this went over well? Yeah, no. What an idiot! Well, the nasty cottonwood is down, the fence which they broke ( oh yeah didn't mention that little tidbit either--not happy) is repaired and obviously my check cleared cause I haven't heard anything.
Lord, I need to get off these hormones or the next idiot is going to get their head ripped off and I'll be in jail. Of course--hormones are a legal defense.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Surgery scheduled

I heard from the surgical coordinator this am. I have to scrub down the night before and the morning of surgerical--I think with Hibiclens (soap). I'm still on oral antibiotics. Hey--I'm not complaining! I don't want any issues with infection.
So, I have to be at the hospital at 10 am and I guess I am put in a room. They asked me if I would mind being on the OB floor--nah--doesn't matter to me. But I know it would for some people. I'm one of those that loves baby showers, but I know some woman that have experienced infertility can't go to a baby shower. Me--thank God it isn't me!!! Especially after Julia. I really like my "birth" experiences.
Ok--I'm rambling. I had a wicked headache this am and nothing helped. When I got to the doctor, I told her about and I ended up getting a couple of shots. Helped a little but boy do I feel spacey. She said besides the fibroids--my lining is also extremely thick. After bleeding for this many weeks!!! My uterus. Ted says I'm one of those people who should bea case study. Nice. I do have this feeling that he will end up having to cut me open. Crap. Tomorrow in for labs, including a type and screen. Ted is also going to have blood drawn and he needs to go to the Red Cross and give a unit of blood as a direct donation for me. Just on stand by in case it is needed.
In other news around here--the kids have had a great time watching the cottonwood being cut down. They are going to come back in the am and finish it. I wonder if it is more then they expected, but they did come out and see it before they gave the quote.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Work Update

Just talked with Marie who I think (?) laughed at me and told me not to worry about my job. I was told to get well and not worry. As far as money--well, I might have to go a week without pay but then diability kicks in--and in 10 years I've never used it. Might as well now. So again I would like to say I really love my job. Which is part of the reason I'm going to bust my butt to get back to work. Now if I can just get the children to be a little easier on me......ok I can always dream!

Surgery

Well, my surgical date is Aug. 13, next Wednesday. Yep, it's a mess in there. He is concerned about adhesions and scar tissue(particularly around the bowel), so he won't know if he is going to have to open me up until he checks laproscopically first. Gen, nope that won't work--too many fibroids and other issues. So, I'm worried but relieved at the same time. Right now I'm just simply worried about job security. I honestly don't think it's an issue, but I'm not covered under federal medical, just Wisconsin medical leave--which only gives me two weeks. The difference is in amount of hours worked in the past year--and with the adoption, dad's passing, plus actually taking a vacation--I haven't worked enough to qualify for federal. It really sucks. So, do I get this taken care of and get healthy--possibly for the first time in years, or do, if my job isn't secure, do I just keep working and hope I don't pass out on a patient? It's really a catch 22.

Anyways, I'll just figure out what I'm doing and go from there. I do think I have to just get this taken care of and let whatever happens happen. I know I can't continue on like this. It isn't fair to the kids, my husband, my job or myself.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Fibroids, anyone?

Well it appears that I have a pretty large amount of fibroids--a couple that are quite large. I'll know tomorrow what the plan is, but he was pretty upfront with me--it's going to have to be yanked. Fine with me. Because of my history, I was pretty nervous (ok freaked) about anything being done and I was brutally honest with him. Because he did a biopsy--just to rule out anything--I'm on cipro twice a day. Good--prep me for surgery. I, quite honestly, don't have time for this. I used up alot of my sick/vacation time with the adoption and I had enough left for Chewie's surgery. Now, I'll have to figure out a way around that--probably with a nasty schedule of 6 days in a row--but you do what you have to do. I'm going to bust my ass to get back to work after this. No pity party time for me--kids start school soon, work is starting up with going completely computer and there is too much going on here at home.
Yes, and to top it all off, I got home, walked in and started sniffing. Yes, one of the dogs took a huge (I mean HUGE) crap all over Julia's room!!!! That's always nice to come home to.

Lab results

Well, after jumping through hoops this am, I finally got the results of the blood draw which was 10.9 for my hemoglobin and 33 for my crit. Not horrible, but not wonderful either. I was trying to remember way back to my hospitalization and those numbers sound about right. I've never dropped very far---but for someone who is used to be around 13--I can feel it. All those vitamins and healthy meals paid off--of course my butt is growing bigger with those "healthy" meals, but oh well. Once I'm stronger I can start exercising again. The inlaws are on their way up to pick up the wild ones. I sent 2 sets of clothes with them--just in case.
Wish me luck!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Uterus anyone? Not for the easily disgusted

Yes, you read that right. I want to give mine away. For those of you that have known me for a while (don't admit how long!!) travelled with me along my personal journey through Hell. Infertility testing damn near killed me and I sure didn't want any doctor near female organs again. My primary doctor finally talked me into doing the "exam" and--she separated from the organization she has been with since 1992--don't get me started there. So, I've been having problems--which really came to a head in Krygz--where bathrooms are a luxury. Sick of it, I start on birth control pills. First couple of months , no real effect, change--serious issues, third try--well, I've been having issues for over 4 weeks now. On Sunday night, I damn near passed out on a patient. Yeah--want me to be your nurse??? I came home and I'm now refusing to drive since I don't feel safe. I've called in sick to work now and I'm taking medical leave. The poor doctor who took over has been so nice, but tomorrow I'm going to specialist for an ultrasound, biopsy and God knows what else. I highly suspect a D and C.
So, anyways, there is a little bitterness here. First the uterus fails to provide me with a baby--instead a major hospital stay and long term drugs. Then, every month, I suffer with cramps and bleeding that pretty much lay me up for a couple of days. Now this. This is 25+ years of misery for an organ that can't do what it's supposed to do!!! Piece of crap. Least you think I'm unhappy with how life is--absolutely not! I would go through it all again for Julia, Rauan and Alihan. In a heartbeat. However, I can't work, drive, play with my children, live any kind of normal life. I've been warned that "you don't want a hysterectomy" and "all that causes is problems". I think I've suffered more then enough.
I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!
ok--if any of this seems out of character for me--blame the hormones. I've been hormoned up the ying yang--and yes that is artificial hormones. I'm keeping the drug companies and Tampax in business.
Please say a prayer for me tomorrow. Last time anyone messed with my uterus I had a "lovely" stay at the hospital. Nervous and scared can't even come close to my emotional state right now.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

I have been so sucked in.....




to Build A Bear. I've avoided it for almost 6 years now--but I finally got sucked in. $90 later, all 3 kids have a bear(or a doggy in Rauan's case) and 1 outfit. No cell phones, skate boards or sunglasses for the bears. I figure--hey Santa and the Tooth Fairy always need ideas! Unfortunately, Chewie has temporarily lost his bear since he left it outside where Miss Belle alerted us to its presence. They were warned. So, he'll get it back later this week--but if he does it again, he'll lose it.
This past Christmas, the kids got new bikes. Up until this point, Julia hasn't really wanted to do anything without her training wheels. Yesterday she went for it without the training wheels--and do you think we could get her off the bike???? Heck no--once she learned she could do it there was no stopping the girl. When I came home from work last night, she was passed out on the couch. Ted said everytime he went to move her she would start screaming. Once I got home I put her to bed without any issues. She's getting hard for me to carry--not because she is heavy but long and lanky. Where do I put all those limbs??? Anyways, I guess she kept riding her bike for HOURS last night. I would've passed out too!
Yes, there is Chewie showing off that man bod of his. He's kind of bony! He eats constantly--but I think he is starting to gain some height. I still do a double take every once in a while because of the width of his shoulders and the size of his hands. Unlike Bubba--who grew and stretched out and lost his belly--I don't think Chewie is going to lose those shoulders and hands. Football player???? Again--here is that comparison again--my dad had a broad set of shoulders and big hands. I've been told that dad was a heck of a carpenter--maybe Chewie is going to be like that. Again--just oddball things.