Sunday, August 31, 2008
And for those of you that are wondering---my back and gut are killing me! I thought maybe I could have gone back to work--but yes, they were right in making me wait! Ok, yes H--- did just freeze over--I admitted someone else was right. Just mark it in your calendar--it doesn't happen often. Now where is my ibuprofen???
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Today--well, the boys decided to finish off the shower surround by climbing up the ledge--completely shattering it. So, we're replacing it. For two people who essentially had no household repair skills when we bought this house--we're getting pretty darn good at fixing stuff. Not perfect--but half-decent looking and usable. Why do I have a feeling that we are going to become experts as the boys get older??? *SIGH*
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Julia went to Levi's birthday party on Thursday. Those two. Grandma Mary Lou sent me some pictures from the party. I can easily see in a few years, Michelle and I will be drinking a few margaritias (or the vodka and lemonade Mala mentioned--but I want the GOOD vodka!), while our girls are out doing good Lord knows what! They may not be sisters--but I think in some ways they are closer--totally best friends. Distance doesn't make a difference at all.
So, while Julia was there--after the boys being home for a few hours, I had to replenish the kitchen. So, off I ventured to Woodman's. For those of you not familiar with Woodman's--take a Sam's Club and add to it, except you don't have to be members. Part of the reason I live in this area is because Woodman's is close. So, Rauan pushed the cart for a bit and then told me it was too much. The boys were hiliarous. As we went down the ceral aisle--Rauan talking--this one older lady came up and patted his head and said, I just love his voice. Rauan just preened with the attention. I still think debate or drama for that boy. Alihan just was bouncing the whole time, jabbering away in his special mix of English/Russian.
Almost $200 later, I'm home and ready to pass out. I forgot how hard grocery shopping can be! I mean, I didn't really hurt, but I was TIRED. However, the problem is--as tired as I get, sleeping is an issue. I just can't sleep. I wonder if all the hormones I took before surgery are having some consequences now. When I've slept, I've woken up just drenched. And there are some definite mood swings going on (Ted-shut up! no comments from the peanut gallery!) Probably a good thing I'm not at work right now--those poor kids don't have to deal with me.
Yesterday, my sister came by with my adorable niece and nephew. Amelia is having issues with GI reflux and they upped her medication. She's eating well, so that's not an issue. So, Henry played with Julia, Rauan and Chewie--and Belle decided Henry was her perfect size so let's knock him down. Darn puppy! But Henry has border collies at home so he is used to the bouncing dog. Amelia slept in my arms for a while. So sweet! But, while I do like babies--I have to admit, I like it when the children are a bit older and interact. Julia came home at 13 months and that was as young as I would like. Within a few months she was walking and playing and cracking up. Anyways, I digress. Ted came home and we took the kids to St. Dennis so they could practice bike riding and run around. I went walking around the grounds just to get exercise. Julia is really getting good at bike riding. Alihan--he is just a goof. Afterwards, we went to get a pizza and I took the kids to DQ next door. And who do we run into but Shauna, and her family? Shauna is Anna's mom--one of Rauan's many girlfriends. I met Shauna before I met Anna--at the preschool parents meeting. I went home that night and I told Ted I met the mom of Rauan's future girlfriend and boy I was right. Anna's petite, long blond curls and just sweet like her mom. So, next year, Anna's brother William will be in preschool with Alihan. Ted went into recruiting mode for hockey. Yeah--nothing new. I have a feeling that will happen. Shauna might be living at the ice arena along with me!
Oh well, off to enjoy the day. Looks like it finally stopped raining and I'm going to go for a walk. Just occasionally twinges right now (as long as I don't lift) and the light headedness is less and less. I can't keep calling myself a dizzy blonde anymore.
Go--play outside and enjoy this late summer weather. I might see you out there!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I slept like crap last night. Honestly. I just couldn't fall asleep. Of course, when Ted got up to go to work this am I was in a total coma. Weird. Anyways, saw the doctor at 2:30 today and he again told me how the nurses were amazed by me. I don't get it. I just do what I have to do--no point in sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Ted just laughs--he's used to being around stubborn wife! He made the comment about how his eye is for sympathy pain for me--WHATEVER!! So, according to the doctor I'm doing great and he can't believe how well considering how bad my insides were. My uterus was 6 times normal size and full of fibroids. Now if I can just lose that extra weight......with time, with time.
Ted and I then went to pick up the children. We walked into Bill and Janet's house and it was literally--"Thank God, we're saved!" HAHA--yep they are active children. Not bad--just very very active. Julia latched onto me and wouldn't let go. The boys, of course, climbed all over me. Rauan looked so tired. I have a feeling he is going to sleep late tomorrow (yeah). Julia has a birthday party tomorrow for her best friend Levi. Grandma Mary Lou ( Michelle's mom and Levi's grandma) is picking Julia up in the am for Chuck E. Cheese's. Can you say afternoon nap tomorrow?
Bad news, looks like I'll have to come up with one month's premium for our health insurance. We have really good health insurance--so it's quite a bit of money. It could certainly be worse--I know there are people alot worse off. For once in our lives, we actually have some money in the bank. It will be tight, but, so goes life. I could push to go back to work, but the medical concern is lifting restrictions. For me, it's more the dizziness--but I think within a week that's going to be much better. The second bit of bad news is Alihan's surgery is going to be delayed. I, of course, have no time left. Ted is pretty much without time either until after the first of the year. So, it's looking like after January 1 for his surgery, depending on the schedule of the doctor's. If it was urgent, well, I'd stay with Chewie until my shift started--work and then go back to him after work. Grandparents are here, Aunt Mimi works weekends--so between everyone we'd figure something out. But, since there has been all this chaos--I think it's just better to wait. I think poor Chewie is so darn confused right now--Lord knows I am.
Anyways, back to work Sept. 15! Do you think I'll make it before I go completely bonkers--or am I already there?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Maria--I got bored and that's why the blog looks different. I'm like that with my hair too--get bored, change it up. Julia has picked that up from me--except she moves furniture around. My living room is always different--she's tried with the family room in the basement--but I think carpeting slows her down! If I don't get back to work soon--who knows what will be changed??
Oh yes, for those that are wondering--Ted isn't getting much sympathy at work. He is now sporting a lovely black eye!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
The boys were thrilled to get their hockey equipment. Ted said he hasn't ever seen Chewie that excited . Of course it took many different pairs of hockey gloves to find ones that fit on his big old paws!!! The boys's hair is really blonde now. I could hardly believe it. I think the sunlight reflecting off the pool does it. And--those kids have grown in 4 days--honestly!!! Ok kids--do it now before I buy your school clothes!
One week post op visit on Wednesday--and the kids are coming home. I'll deal with the pain but I can't deal with them being away for that long.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Yet again, apparently I'm one for the medical books. A big old mess inside and with 4 hours I had the catheter out and walking. I also peed within 4 hours of the catheter being out. That thing is miserable! I do have more sympathy for my patients in regards to that. I was told yesterday that eventually the ovaries might have to come out--but with what I've lived with so far--maybe not! I am certainly hoping I make it to menopause with my ovaries. Lord, I'm cranky enough. I was lucky enough to be such a big mess inside that I had TWO surgeons working on me, not just one. I also informed that it was the worst case he had ever seen in his 20 years of medical practice and he does ALOT of hyterectomies. great--just the distinction I want.
Anyways, I'm home. I took a nap. Have a big bloated tummy. Walking sort of upright. I hope this passes soon. My MIL, FIL, mother, husband , manager, sisters, and friend Kelly have all informed me to rest and slow down(!!!!). I'll try but I don't know if there is a downshift on this thing. My mom also isn't sure I'll be able to handle the kids by myself next week. Humm, we'll see. I still can't drive. I lost alot of blood during surgery, hemoglobin is down to 9, so I might have to rest--yeah maybe for a day!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Well after 2 hours of surgery the doctor came in and told me and I quote: " I took one look and it looked like someone blew something up in there!" Thanks Doc, nice visual! He said that there were so many adhesion's and fibroids, that everything was sticking to her ovaries, bowels, etc.... He also needed to drain some ovarian cysts too. He also mentioned that he was surprised that she had made it this long.... Well I would like to say Janiece is resting quietly in her bed, but we all know better. She was bound and determined to walk around tonight and get the catheter remover, both of which she succeeded. She started to worry about everything and told me to call her boss tonight, because she was worried about the work schedule if she is out longer. I guess that I must of grown a pair again, because I told her that IT CAN WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW! Yes my head and all body parts are still attached. I think the DR. has pre-warned her nurses that she is determined to get out of there, because they are letting her do stuff(i.e eat solids) as she feels ready, instead of going by the guidelines. So she is going to be at Fort Atkinson Hosp. until Friday and then we will figure it out from there.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you haven’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.
This would take me to 1993 at the grand old age of 23 and thinking I knew more than anyone! That changed. I had just graduated from college with a major in psychology and marketing, worked in a grocery store (yuck) and was having a crisis because I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. This was when I started school again because I loved the hospital environment and my dad (bless his heart) told me that nursing would offer me the most flex ability.
1. I never thought I would marry. Finally, because a nurse I worked with and loved, talked me into meeting her brother. The rest is history. I had finally met my best friend and I married him in 1998 and he still is my best friend.
2. I thought once I had a house I would get pregnant and live happily ever after. Never did I think I would nearly die trying to get pregnant. Never did I think I would journey down the path of infertility.
3. I have travelled in lands few Americans have seen and my husband and I have 3 absolutely beautiful children. I sure never thought I would practially have triplets--and while is crazy, it's wonderful!
4. While in school for my nursing degree, I was terrified of working with children. I wanted to deal with adults who could express their needs. Little did I ever think that I would find my heart's desire working with little children--very sick little children. And I do think I'm fairly good at what I do.
5. Which leads me into my subculture of peds work--craniofacial. I barely knew what a cleft was and then we adopted Julia, which changed every direction of our lives. Ted with the sports (and I certainly never thought I would have the ice arena as my second home) and me with the craniofacial population. I love working with the families of craniofacial children. All it brings me is joy. And I soak up anything about craniofacial (and amniotic banding) like a sponge. I never thought that the love of craniofacial would lead me to the other 2 male loves of my life--Rauan and Alihan.
6. I love Madison!! I love working at the University hospital. 15 years ago---I thought I was a small town girl and staying that way. No way. Madison is awesome. I've travelled all over the world now and Madison is my hometown.
7. Norwegian elkhounds--who would have thought? Ted and I really wanted a dog when we got married since we both grew up with dogs. He found out about Norwegian elkhounds and the rest is history. I'm addicted to flying hair and frequent brushings. Plus, I have a male dog that thinks the sun rises and sets on me--he's pretty darn smart.
8. I have a minivan and love it. Enough said.
9. I honestly have to say that there is a place in Wisconsin that I consider to be the best vacation spot--Door County. Back when I younger--I thought Door County was for the middle aged folks who just want to sit around. How little did I know. Door County has some of the most beautiful places to hike and check out. I love the beaches and boy oh boy--they make some mighty good wine up there.
10. I'm glad that I grew up. I wouldn't want to be 23 again. My life has just improved and I look forward to the future. At 23, I lived for the moment. Now, I live for the present and for the future for my kids.
So, that sums it up. I am seriously sappy at some spots--but honestly who would have ever thought I would say infertility is the best thing that ever happened to me? It shook me out of my safety net, kicked my ass and woke me up to there is more to this life then just myself and my little corner of the world.
Ok I tag Hilary, Mala, Elizabeth, Stephanie and Gen. Let's hear it ladies!!
Had the preop with the doctor today and Ted went with me. He asked Ted if he had any questions--Ted's answer "nope". I think that shocked the doctor. I guess most men have lots of questions--but I'm sure most men haven't sat next to their wife while she is in severe pain like I was when I had the pelvic infection. I honestly think that after living with that--when I decided adoption was the way to go--he was all for it. Now that in vitro wouldn't have even worked--I'm sure glad that we didn't let anything hold us back.
I've got the disability claim in--God willing I won't even need it because I want to be back to work soon. I mean--I'm bored and weak. That's the worse kind of mommy for these kids! That mean trouble finds them. School starts in 3 weeks--YEAH!!! Ok--there are issues with being anal retentive. I have everything set up for surgery and whatever happens. The only issue is getting the kid's clothes washed and I can't make the dryer or washing machine go any faster.
Oh I have a good one. So, the cottonwood tree is down. The guys wanted their money. no problem--write the check and I go inside and transfer the money over. So, in the maybe--MAYBE--ten minutes it took for me to transfer the money, the dude had gone to the bank and they wouldn't let him cash the check due to insufficient funds. What the heck??? Who leaves that much money sitting in their checking account??? I didn't know when they were going to want to get paid--I don't think the other 2 homeowners have even received their bills yet. I mean come on now--alot of people work days. So, the guy calls me all panic stricken thinking I had stiffed him on the bill. I explained to him I had transferred the money over. That didn't satisfy him--he wanted me to call the bank and make sure the money was there. Ok--I've been on hormones for over 4 weeks now--do you think this went over well? Yeah, no. What an idiot! Well, the nasty cottonwood is down, the fence which they broke ( oh yeah didn't mention that little tidbit either--not happy) is repaired and obviously my check cleared cause I haven't heard anything.
Lord, I need to get off these hormones or the next idiot is going to get their head ripped off and I'll be in jail. Of course--hormones are a legal defense.
Friday, August 8, 2008
So, I have to be at the hospital at 10 am and I guess I am put in a room. They asked me if I would mind being on the OB floor--nah--doesn't matter to me. But I know it would for some people. I'm one of those that loves baby showers, but I know some woman that have experienced infertility can't go to a baby shower. Me--thank God it isn't me!!! Especially after Julia. I really like my "birth" experiences.
Ok--I'm rambling. I had a wicked headache this am and nothing helped. When I got to the doctor, I told her about and I ended up getting a couple of shots. Helped a little but boy do I feel spacey. She said besides the fibroids--my lining is also extremely thick. After bleeding for this many weeks!!! My uterus. Ted says I'm one of those people who should bea case study. Nice. I do have this feeling that he will end up having to cut me open. Crap. Tomorrow in for labs, including a type and screen. Ted is also going to have blood drawn and he needs to go to the Red Cross and give a unit of blood as a direct donation for me. Just on stand by in case it is needed.
In other news around here--the kids have had a great time watching the cottonwood being cut down. They are going to come back in the am and finish it. I wonder if it is more then they expected, but they did come out and see it before they gave the quote.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Anyways, I'll just figure out what I'm doing and go from there. I do think I have to just get this taken care of and let whatever happens happen. I know I can't continue on like this. It isn't fair to the kids, my husband, my job or myself.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Yes, and to top it all off, I got home, walked in and started sniffing. Yes, one of the dogs took a huge (I mean HUGE) crap all over Julia's room!!!! That's always nice to come home to.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
So, anyways, there is a little bitterness here. First the uterus fails to provide me with a baby--instead a major hospital stay and long term drugs. Then, every month, I suffer with cramps and bleeding that pretty much lay me up for a couple of days. Now this. This is 25+ years of misery for an organ that can't do what it's supposed to do!!! Piece of crap. Least you think I'm unhappy with how life is--absolutely not! I would go through it all again for Julia, Rauan and Alihan. In a heartbeat. However, I can't work, drive, play with my children, live any kind of normal life. I've been warned that "you don't want a hysterectomy" and "all that causes is problems". I think I've suffered more then enough.
I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!
ok--if any of this seems out of character for me--blame the hormones. I've been hormoned up the ying yang--and yes that is artificial hormones. I'm keeping the drug companies and Tampax in business.
Please say a prayer for me tomorrow. Last time anyone messed with my uterus I had a "lovely" stay at the hospital. Nervous and scared can't even come close to my emotional state right now.