Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Uterus anyone? Not for the easily disgusted

Yes, you read that right. I want to give mine away. For those of you that have known me for a while (don't admit how long!!) travelled with me along my personal journey through Hell. Infertility testing damn near killed me and I sure didn't want any doctor near female organs again. My primary doctor finally talked me into doing the "exam" and--she separated from the organization she has been with since 1992--don't get me started there. So, I've been having problems--which really came to a head in Krygz--where bathrooms are a luxury. Sick of it, I start on birth control pills. First couple of months , no real effect, change--serious issues, third try--well, I've been having issues for over 4 weeks now. On Sunday night, I damn near passed out on a patient. Yeah--want me to be your nurse??? I came home and I'm now refusing to drive since I don't feel safe. I've called in sick to work now and I'm taking medical leave. The poor doctor who took over has been so nice, but tomorrow I'm going to specialist for an ultrasound, biopsy and God knows what else. I highly suspect a D and C.
So, anyways, there is a little bitterness here. First the uterus fails to provide me with a baby--instead a major hospital stay and long term drugs. Then, every month, I suffer with cramps and bleeding that pretty much lay me up for a couple of days. Now this. This is 25+ years of misery for an organ that can't do what it's supposed to do!!! Piece of crap. Least you think I'm unhappy with how life is--absolutely not! I would go through it all again for Julia, Rauan and Alihan. In a heartbeat. However, I can't work, drive, play with my children, live any kind of normal life. I've been warned that "you don't want a hysterectomy" and "all that causes is problems". I think I've suffered more then enough.
I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!
ok--if any of this seems out of character for me--blame the hormones. I've been hormoned up the ying yang--and yes that is artificial hormones. I'm keeping the drug companies and Tampax in business.
Please say a prayer for me tomorrow. Last time anyone messed with my uterus I had a "lovely" stay at the hospital. Nervous and scared can't even come close to my emotional state right now.

7 comments:

Stef Wasson said...

Hey - hope everything goes ok. I'll be thinking about you!

Hilary Marquis said...

I understand :) Hang in there...park thine self one the couch and stay there! I'll be praying for you tomorrow. Maybe you'll actually get some answers tomorrow and a plan for a solution.

Gen 's Family Story said...

Praying for you Janiece...I've had those same feelings as a nurse myself. Those female organs can be a kick can't they? At least they got us our children, I love your nursing humor! Hugs to you!!!

Lisa said...

JP, I love you and will be praying for you. Sending lots of love and warm wishes your way 'cause it's far and I want to make sure it gets there...

Maria said...

Oh Janiece, how horrible. Isn't being a woman hell sometimes??? I hope things go very, very smoothly and that it can be taken care of with little (more) discomfort on your part. I think the worst part of it all are those raging hormones. My prescription?? Chocolate. Cures a myriad of ailments (and I'm NOT a nurse -- I just play one at home). :-)

Elizabeth and Bill said...

So osrry to hear that you are going through this. I'm glad that you are staying home and taking care of yourself. I hope that they figure out what is going on soon and that there is a good a solution that you are happy with!

Lisa B and Family said...

Well that just sucks!
I had to have an emergency Hysterectomy (although they left my ovaries) and i can say I have never, not once ever, missed my monthy visit from Aunt Dot in the last 10+ years. GOOD RIDENCE! I have my hormones tested once a year and so far (except for the initial shock period) I am still creating normal hormone levels.
I wish you luck and hope you feel better soon!