So Sad

When Ted and I started on this lovely journey called parenthood, we were teaching religious education classes at our church. There we were lucky enough to meet this incredible lady by the name of Deb. A single woman, who converted to Catholicism and was dating a member of our church. Throughout the infertility, sickness, and then the 3 adoptions we had a cheerleader in our corner. She was always so excited to see the children. We didn't get to see her much,especially as our lives got busier with 3 small very active children. She married her boyfriend and helped him with his 3 teenage daughters (yes she was a brave soul!). I came home tonight and found out that over the weekend Deb went to heaven while she slept. I don't know if she had been sick or not--as I mentioned--time seems to fly. She was only 50 years old. While I know Deb is with God and at peace, it still pains me to see how time flies and there's another face I won't see while I'm still on this earth.
Peace Deb, peace.

When you have kids...

you need an instant remedy to get rid of the smell of vomit in your van. OMG!!! We are driving home after a wonderful lunch at the Old-Fashioned (which I discovered on Emily's birthday party and having waiting to take Ted) and we drove past a house we had heard might be going on the market. All of the sudden Rauan does his coughing thing and starts vomiting--all over! Why??? Of course if my kids weren't such little piggies and would use the garbage can in the van instead of throwing things all over and pushing the garbage can under the seat--this would be a minor issue (yes it a washable one). So, I have now been outside in the cold, trying to clean up the van and anything on the floor went into the trash. Harsh? Perhaps. But maybe they will learn to respect things instead of tromping all over items with their yucky snow-covered, sloppy boots. And have the trash can available so mommy doesn't have to test how strong her stomach is (thank goodness it's strong)
Any ideas besides taking it in for detailing??? It really stinks and I've used what cleaners I have.

Julia is amazing

Julia and I got to the hospital at 7 am today for her 8:30 surgery. Busy busy, but again, I think our hospital is awesome! Dr. Del went in and check for fistulas and yep they are there. I knew about the one she had in front--I figured bone graft will take care of it, but it's more extensive then what I thought. Then she has a pinpoint area in the middle of her palate. While Julia was under, she asked the other plastic surgeon Dr. Benz (also a totally cool guy and doctor) to take a look at her hand. Since Julia is a girly girl (her words) she wanted him to assess and see about anything with a fingernail for her "big" finger. Interestingly enough there is. He has transplanted toenail grafts on to fingers to produce a nail. Varying success. Ted and I have discussed more work on her hand but we've decided this is a decision for her to make in the future. But--awesome news. I didn't know they can do stuff like that. What a great option to offer her.
Beyond that news, nasal cauterization went well--apparently that big vessel healed up (Vaseline--I will swear by that stuff from now on!) and there we a couple smaller ones near the front of her nose that looked suspicious. Then the adenoids are gone. She had some emergence delirium coming out of surgery--actually unhooking her IV and getting blood all over the place. Poor nurse--don't think she know what to think of me. Things happen.
So here's the amazing part--after resting for a couple of hours--Julia is up and playing the wii. Basically refusing to relax at all. And yelling at her brothers--much to my dismay. I'd rather she rest her throat.
Boy, that surgery the end of April is going to be a bitch. Sphincter, fistula repair, nasal revision. Yeah that will be an overnighter and that's good. It might be the only way to keep her down. Then comes the at home and not running around. HAHAHA
I'll try to slow Chewie down this weekend and get an updated photo. Looks pretty darn good.

I'm bummed

Majorly. I've always had crappy teeth. So, deal with it. Which I have done for years and years. Wore the nasty braces--big help. My teeth moved back out. Dealt with that. Multiple fillings. Yipeee. Dealt with that. Talked about doing the braces again then found out the cost--hell no!!! I have kids that have major ortho needs--they come first. Had a crown place on a tooth long time ago--that kept falling off and falling. Big pain in the rump. Ok so now it's staying on but for the last 6 weeks or so, it's been hurting. I don't have time to go to the dentist in Janesville. So, found a reputable dentist here. Get in and he's checking around and the camera is showing(which I can see) cracks--yes multiple cracks in multiple teeth. He asks, are you stressed. Ummm yeah--3 small children, 2 high stress jobs, filthy house and very little sleep--yeah I would say I'm stressed and no that isn't about to change anytime soon. Well, the thought is the crown pushed the teeth--totally throwing my bite off. I'm clenching and grinding (one night that did wake Ted up and it usually takes a bomb to wake him up). Plus the crown crowded into the tooth in front of it causing some serious decay. So, it probably isn't the crown, it's the tooth in front. So, first a filling then the major repair work starts. Crowns, bite analysis and so on. I already told him--limits. Do what has to be done and that's it. I'll deal with the overbite etc. Shit. Shit shit shit. When will this never ending drama stop? I just want a normal simple life with a reasonably clean house and 8 hours of sleep. Just a normal life.

Remember when--7 years ago

Ahhh, I'm spending too much time thinking. This am as Ted was getting ready to leave, I said remember what happened 7 years ago? "huh?' Yes, he is a typical man. Well 7 years ago today was the day my sister was holding my hand as I had that God awful HSG, which caused the massive pelvic infection, which landed me in the hospital on Valentines' Day, where I spent 10 days had surgery and a PICC line placed so I could give myself IV antibiotics for 5 weeks afterwards (which lead to the phrase--"why bother eating? just skip the middle man and drop the food into the toilet."). So, it really sucked. But I don't regret it. Why? Because in September that year I cancelled the appt. for IVF and told Ted my body has had enough. My hubby, who didn't want to take any more risks either, agreed to investigate adoption. Totally scary for him since adoption was a foreign concept, but for me, with both family and friends that had been adopted--not such a big deal. November of that year we signed with an agency, by the end of January we had our referral and in April we met our princess. No regrets and I would do it all again if I had to make the choice. God knew what he was doing. I'm so stubborn. If I hadn't been through Hell, I would have done the IVF (which we now know probably wouldn' t have worked) and who knows what path we would have taken? Yes, God knew. And I'm so thankful.

Julia update

Julia had her preop physical today for her 1st surgery next week. She's 48 inches and 47 lbs. not bad for a peanut that 5 years ago wasn't even on the growth charts--now she's 65% and 41% respectively. Where does the time go? We also did the hair cut again today and I can see her eyeballs again! She's growing out her hair and its a totally even bob right now--with the exception of her bangs. I wish I could talk her into to keeping it shorter--but some battles aren't worth it. It's her hair. Now if she wants to dye it black and start wearing white makeup with dark red lipstick---then we'll have to talk.

I've offically had THE heart attack now!

After skating I stopped at Wal-Mart with Julia and Chewie. It's Chewie's turn to bring snack to school this week--and I really didn't want to go out after Ted got home. Julia is helping me load up the bags and I turn to get Chewie--who was just standing behind me and HE"S GONE!!!! Nowhere in sight. I totally panic--looking everywhere for him. Screaming his name. Nowhere. I'm seriously thinking of having them shut the store while looking for him (Code Adam). All the sudden he comes sauntering along. OMG--I was ready to kill him!! Look of death and we were out of there. Screamed at him all the way home---and yes Julia was there in the background going"you can leave mom alone". Got home and he went into his PJs. Fed him, let Ted yell at him and off to bed. Now I have a few more grays to cover. Damn kids. I'm going to be completely gray by the time they reach 10--if my heart lasts that long!

When you have an older sister.....

This is what happens! Yes, this is Julia's angel dress from Christmas. I had 3 children running around in dresses most of the afternoon--2 that shouldn't be wearing them--but sure have nice legs!

And Friday night. Julia's friend Lucy was over and they spent the evening running around--all 4 children. Boy would I love a 4th child!!! No, it isn't happening, but I loved the noise, the chaos and the pure joy of happy healthy children.

Dr. Del report---wow he's healing great! (well yeah--anal retentive momma here!) And she wasn't too happy about the hockey either. So, on Saturday when Chewie couldn't suit up what does Ted say--"because your mom said no". Lovely eh? While I'm at work (in the PICU no less--which is ok but not my gig) making money to pay for hockey and school! MEN!!! Urology report also well (again anal retentive momma). We'll find out the final results in March --when daddy has to take him cause I'm at work(haha). They'll do an audiology test, see how his hearing is, and then check everything. I can tell you, the hearing is excellent. I mean he was an incredible kid before--but now--WOW!!!

I would like to warn everyone to not do a Janiece and go to Woodmans on a Sunday afternoon when they are remodeling. HELL--pure HELL! I try to avoid being tortured like that but when that's the only time you have--what can you do???

For everyone who wants a letter to play the game--requests in by Tuesday night. I think I'll do an Emily and draw the letters out of a bag--or maybe have Julia do it!

The Letter J

• Here's a cute little game that Emily passed on to me. I, of all things, ended up with the letter J. So, here's the rules:

• Here are the rules…If you want to play, leave a comment on this post letting me know, and I’ll assign you a letter. You write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place. When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on!

  
  
  Julia: What can I say? She's what made us a family. I had a dream about her the night before we got the call. Julia is my daughter. Biological or adopted, she's the best letter J in the world.
  
• Jammies--Love them, gotta have them. The more fleece the better.
  
• Humm--the boys. Ok, not offically letter J--but Rauan Joesph and Alihan John
  
• June, July--I'm freezing. Do you expect me to say anything else??? I want summer. What does that mean to me? A lot less clothing, no more shoveling, no more slipping on ice, green grass, green trees, hiking, walking the dogs, gardening, swimming, playing outside with the kids, riding my bike (yes--definitely now that I'm healthy!). I really really am starting to hate winter.
  
• Jamming down to some good old country music. Sorry--I like it and I'm not changing. We're all superstars in our car when the radio is blaring.
  
• Job--Yes, silly me. But this is what happens when you get a type A personality. I love being a nurse. And it isn't for the medical crap either (although that is pretty darn cool). I just love being a part of making things better--whether its making the child healthy, helping the family find comfort, or just guiding to the right spot. I believe a good nurse doesn't make her/himself stand out. We are just part of the comfort, the security, the cure--whatever that may be. I also just like feeling like I am contributing.
  
• Jeans. There is nothing like a damn good pair of jeans. Come on now. Jeans fit into every aspect of society, down to scrubbing out the tub to hobnobing at some society gig. Of course not the same pair of jeans--but they are totally acceptable. And I can run and play with the kids when I'm wearing them.
  
• Jam/Jelly I admit it. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I go through streaks where I could eat nothing but. That's me--so goes life.
  

The chin up view . I think you can see where she realigned the septum and thus the cupid's bow. It's a pretty faint cut.

Wow--now that's a profile!

Love that smile! Doesn't he seem like he might be full of mischief???

The urology appt. was today--and the huge scab fell off last night, so all is good there. I, of course, ended up taking him in. I'm getting frustrated with being the one responsible for EVERYTHING (literally everything) and it's starting to take it's toll. But that's a subject for a different time.

I have never seen so much snot drain from a nose--and I've seen alot of snot. I don't know if his nose is so open now, because his ears are draining properly or did he get something in the hospital. Anything is possible I guess. But he can't really blow his nose now--not that he ever really wanted to--so I'm back to the old reliable bulb sucker. I swear I think I got snot out from clear up close to his brain. Julia's feelings on the subject "GROSS!!" Gotta love 6 year olds.

Tomorrow is the big craniofacial follow up. I think his nose looks so good. Still swollen but it's coming down. The biggest change is going to come between now and the next couple of months. By summer time, I expect a faint scar and that's it. I am so lucky to be around modern medicine with such great doctors! (and great coworkers as well--the nurses, CNAs and HUCs are awesome too!)

Rant!!!

Ok just wondering what are the limits on husband stupidity???I ran late at HospiceCare--not by much--and I called and let Ted know that I would be to the ice arena around 5 pm. Got there just as Julia is getting dressed back to street clothes. All good. I went into the little ice arena, saw Rauan, saw Ted and said Where's Chewie? Dumbass(and there is no other word for it !) said "out on the ice" WTF!!!!(excuse my English--but...) The boy just had major surgery 6 days ago! What the hell is wrong with you??? He tells me that "I thought you said Tuesday" No dumbass I said Saturday MAYBE!!!! How can a person confuse the 2? Ah yes, that selective male hearing.
Ok the man is not stupid. His mom retired as an RN, from the ER, after 20+ years. His sister--which is how I met him--has been a ICU nurse forever. He knows some medical stuff--how could he not?? 10 days dumbass--minimum 10 days before he does anything. Plus, when he came out of surgery he was so restless that he blew some stitches around his poor little penis. Ice and time resolved that--but there's a huge scab. You can't tell me that it's ok for him to be out there skating when he has that--it's got to rub.
Thank God nothing happened--but does he just not think??? This is not our first child--nor our first cleft/nose surgery. Why????
Yes--just so you know I love the man dearly, but there are times!

Chewie Day 6

Chewie went back to school today and now he is at daycare (I start work at 3). I asked the teachers for their opinion afterwards--amazed was the term used. He was answering questions correctly-all of them. His speech is better in their opinion, behavior is better. One of the teachers (now I've known her for over 4 years now) can't believe how well adjusted he is and how bonded he is with us. All in less then a year. I thought he fit in pretty well from the start--the stork just went to the wrong place--just like with each one of the kids. Honestly, we're just damned lucky!

He is feeling great--no pain, nothing. He hasn't had any pain meds since Friday night--trust me I'm liberal with pain meds, especially with his extensive surgery--but he just feels good. And he loves to inform me that his penis feels good and he likes to check it out. Boys!!! He is still swollen on his nose, but it's going down. I think the bruising is almost gone. I'm still putting antibiotic ointment on just to help with the stitches pulling.

Off to eat something and get ready for work. I've already been to Janesville and back this am--transferring $. I will be SO GLAD when the taxes are done and we have our refund. I think this one might run over a two timeframe--did with Julia's, not with Rauan's. Debt--I hate, want to get rid of it!