Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Temper Tantrums/Orphanage Rage

I don't know if I mentioned Rauan's history. First off I love and adore Rauan. When we first brought him home, not so much. Fat, sullen, not really wanting to be part of our family and frequently prone to violent rages/temper tantrums. Breaking things, throwing stuff at the walls, kicking me, punching holes in the walls, kicking the walls. This could go on for hours--and as often as 5 plus times a day. As time went on, they became less frequent and decreased in aggression. He grew into the sweet, loving, adorable extremely intelligent little boy we know and love. Months without a rage.
Until today.
Up early in the am, again into the envelopes, taking stamps, yelling at his brother.
Took money from his brother--and that was ugly.
Called me a few not so pleasant names--yes he is learning some of those things at the catholic school--its all over.
Started the violent kicking of walls. Ok--time to sit and cool it.
Threw stuff at me. "Knock it off or I'm calling dad" His reply "go ahead". At that point, time to face the wall. Dad is on the phone (I've had to have Ted run interference due to his violence). a few more filthy things out of his mouth. Warned that if it happens again, soap to the mouth. (No flames--it teaches a lesson and it isn't harmful to his system--and it tastes nasty--a good reminder)
So, what does he do? Spits on his sister-and filth from his mouth. Off to the bathroom. Soap in the mouth. And then the physical aggression started.
I called school and warned Sr. Eileen of what was going on. I let him go on for a few more minutes with his kicking and throwing things. Then, time for school. He continues crying and carrying on--too bad, too sad. Life goes on.
Julia and Chewie ready for school. Rauan still carrying on. Told him to get his school stuff together or he is going to school like that. So, Rauan crying and carrying on--gets ready for school. Into the truck. Throwing stuff still. Tell him to knock it off. He says he isn't going to school. Oh yes you are.
Pull into school parking lot. Julia and Chewie off to school (trying to make a break for it, I'm sure). Rauan continues to carry on. Call to dad. Dad--"ask him if he wants me to leave work and escort him into school" Rauan "NO!!". At that point I told him I can sit there all day and wait. And his school friends will see him acting this way when they come out for recess. Finally, Rauan calms enough to walk into school. I escort him in. Stop and talk with the kindergarten teacher who has worked with post traumatized kids. She tells me that Chewie told her right away that Rauan got his mouth washed with soap--GREAT. Tell her my concerns--that while these are getting less frequent, he is getting older, stronger and bigger. She has some ideas for me. Thank goodness because I'm at my wits end. Talk to Sr. Eileen and tell her to call if there is any issue--but based upon the past, he'll probably be amazingly good.
Home and exhaustion for me. Work tonight. And start all over again tomorrow.
I'm tired.


Shannon said...

Oh my gosh - you MUST be exhausted! Sounds like you've kept control of the situation though. Too many parents these days are afraid to do that. FYI - we got our mouths washed out with soap, LAVA nonetheless, when we were kids - we're not dead and we definitely learned our lesson!

Hilary Marquis said...

That sounds like a tough morning for everyone. You handled it great, Janiece. Like the pro that you are ;) All our kids have their moments...some are more frequent than others. Hang in there! Soon you can come "hide out" at my house!