Without letting himself sound too wonderful its almost as if there was 2 different lives for me; BT (before Ted) and AT (After Ted). Never knew a damn thing about sports, much less hockey and figure skating. My van can now drive itself to the ice arena and yes, I can tie skates in my sleep. Never left the country before (except Canada to see relatives)--now I travelled to the other side of the world, numerous times--and look forward to doing it again. Of course, this time I won't bring another child home with me! I've lost one of my heroes (Dad), but I've gained 3 more (Julia, Rauan, and Alihan). Their strength amazes me. I entered nursing as a field to earn decent money--and Hell no, there was no way I would work with children. Now, instead of a job, I passionately work in a field I love and actively try to improve--pediatric nursing. I've discovered that instead of being a wimp, I'm incredibly strong--even stronger with my husband at my side. We've lived through what would bury most people--stuff I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy--and we're stronger then before. Eleven years ago, I didn't know what a cleft lip and palate were--now, I'm teaching people and nurses about clefting. I'll try most anything now (snowshoeing anyone, how about skating?) where previously I would have run--not walked--in the opposite direction.
Life amazes me. Now as we are into the second decade of our marriage, I wonder what the future will bring. Our children will start their entry into the teenage years--which will surely test our strength yet again! We'll have to make decisions about moving or staying here. Careers--humm, what will that bring? I can't see myself ever leaving the field of pediatrics--but I probably will move into something besides the floor. Although I do see myself as always being a hands on nurse. Will Ted stay at Covance and in what capacity? Only time will tell. We do want to pursue international adoptions--education, helping the children left behind, medical missions, etc. As our children get older, we want to travel more. Which leads to the next question--if Julia is as good at figure skating as we've been lead to believe, what then? As funny as it sounds, Ted could "retire" from Covance in the next 10 years. We'll have the option of a parent always being able to travel. Nursing, it sure is incredibly flexible. There is always a need--and where there is a need, there is a job.
There is always "what ifs" and there is always plans. If I have learned anything, it is that life changes in the blink of an eye. Those of us that have learned to embrace change, thrive. I'm learning--it hasn't been easy, but I'm learning. I've learned that God has plans for us, and although we have our expectations--God's plans are better. Trust--trust yourself, trust your spouse and support system, and most of all, trust God.